Tuesday, February 5, 2013

beating the bullies.

i would like to share something today. its something very important to me, because it has shaped the person i am today + it was one of the biggest things i've had to overcome. i was bullied in high school.

even though a few years have passed since i left high school, the other night it came rushing back when i was out somewhere + i saw a girl that used to bully me.

now bullying, as everyone knows, comes in many forms. it can be physical, emotional, psychological, a mixture of all those or something different entirely. it can affect you for years afterward, even if it wasn't physical. its the emotional scars that last the longest.

when i started high school, i had come from another primary school to everyone else so that automatically made me a target. it didn't help that i dressed differently to the other girls - a long skirt, shirt tucked in. i was introverted, highly academic + committed to my studies + i got along well with my teachers. all of these things also made me a target. i am not describing any of this in self-pity or regret. in fact, these are now traits that i pride myself on + i am glad i have retained them. however, high school is not a place to be different + if you are, you need to make damn sure you're in a group of other different people so that you don't become so noticeable.

it is no exaggeration when i say that i was bullied continually for the entire six years i attended my high school. i had previously been bullied at primary school as well, but not to such a scale that i had health or emotional disorders because of it.

in saying this, seeing that girl from high school the other night automatically caused my "flight" reaction + i wanted to hide. but then i thought you know what? she's not better than me. she's not prettier than me + she shouldn't be allowed to still make me feel this way. so i stepped away from hiding + i wasn't scared. she saw me + gave me the usual look up + down, jealousy written on her face. it was a good feeling to know how far i have come with no more fear or inferiority. i am now beating the bullies.


claudia owl.

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